The short story: There was a rabbit in my dryer, and my pastor had something to say about it.
The longer story: The dogs chased a rabbit into my dryer vent. Not a stuffed rabbit. Not a toy. A real rabbit.
As you can imagine, this story did not end well for the rabbit or the dryer. What followed involved power tools, frustration, and more than a few tears. What should have been an unfortunate household inconvenience exposed something much deeper in my heart: I want to be self-sufficient.
The dryer wasn’t really the problem. The rabbit wasn’t the problem. The problem was me. I took time off work. I googled dryer schematics. I convinced myself I had to handle it. Somewhere in the midst of it all, I felt the existential weight of being single and alone.
Then my pastor scolded me—not because I had struggled, but because he was disappointed that I had not called him when it happened. I had battled alone when help was nearby. He recognized that the larger issue was not my broken appliance but my assumption that I needed to fix it by myself.
He reminded me, as he had often done before, that we are created for relationship and that relationship is marked by presence. By relying on my own sufficiency, I had refused one of the ordinary ways God cares for me: the relational provision of his people. The rabbit became an unlikely reminder that the Christian life is built not on self-sufficiency but on dependence on God expressed in real relationship.
We Are Created for Relationship
This lesson is not primarily about one single woman’s hard afternoon, although most singles have found themselves in a similar situation at some point (minus the bunny, maybe). We become accustomed to solving our own problems. We manage our own homes, schedules, health concerns, and finances. And we often struggle with being honest about life’s hardships lest we be perceived as “needy.” Over time, independence can become a point of pride and can transform into isolation.
Some of you reading this may be thinking, “That’s why you get married.” But marriage is not possible for everyone at all times (Matthew 19:1–12). Not every single person will marry. All of us begin life single, some remain single for a lifetime, and many married people will experience singleness again.
The deeper issue is not marital status. It is, rather, what our relationship with our God looks like.
From the beginning, God created human beings for relationship—with himself and with one another. Isolation was never a part of his design. We were created for community, to reflect and represent his loving character to the watching world. Sin, however, has separated us from God and from each other.
Through dependence on the gospel of Jesus’s perfect life, death, and resurrection, we are invited into a restored relationship with God. This good news creates something better than self-sufficiency. It creates a family that is designed to be together.
Relationship Is Characterized by Presence
True relationship is achieved not through distant observation but through engaged presence.
God models this presence throughout the Scriptures. In the beginning, God was present, walking in the garden of Eden with his first man and woman. They enjoyed intimate fellowship with him. After the relational rift caused by their sin, God promised a Redeemer who was given the name Immanuel, which means “God with us.”
Our God kindly, continuously reminds us of his presence. If we abide in him, our very lives are grafted to his life (John 15:1–11). Paul reminds his readers that our hearts can live at peace because “The Lord is at hand” (Philippians 4:4–7 ESV). We read in Matthew that Jesus’s followers are to make disciples; we can do this with great courage because Jesus promised in his commission, “I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). He is always here.
But we are a forgetful people, as evidenced by my pity party in the garage. So he also provides tangible presence through his people.
The gospel inaugurates a new family presence through the church. Yes, nuclear families are ordained by God and are important, but Jesus’s people are also called together by our redemption, in a way that transcends our physical birth (Matthew 12:46–50). The family of God is composed of biologically unrelated spiritual fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters living in a way that reflects Jesus, our older brother, Savior, and friend (Titus 2). Our life together shows off the goodness and mercy of our Father (Romans 8:16–17).
We are one body (Romans 12:5), designed to gather together (Hebrews 10:24–25), to engage one another in brotherly affection (Romans 12:10), and to love one another (1 Thessalonians 3:12). We are meant to be together.
Relationship Together Magnifies God
This family is not primarily designed for companionship or assistance, though those are indeed blessings. Instead, our primary calling—our vocation—is loving one another in a way that testifies of God’s justice and mercy through Christ to a world who needs to know him. As a family of image bearers, we all have a common purpose: to glorify the one who made us. Other people should see our God as we care for one another (1 John 4:12).
Our God’s presence and our engagement with his family, the church, emphasizes the abundance we have in Christ instead of our perceived deficits. These relationships encourage all believers—single or married—to view life through the lens of gospel faithfulness and eternal investment.
So what might this look like for your single friends? In addition to appliance repair, it might look like this:
Befriend. Pursue the singles in your life as true friends. Text, call, and invite. Celebrate, mourn, and laugh together!
Eat. Break bread together. Everyone eats—it is not an extra task. Spending time over a meal is a natural way to share life.
Help. Can you help with car problems? Taxes? Be an emergency contact? Teach someone how to cook? Provide laundry facilities?
Accept help. Nobody likes to ask for help, but for the single, it is nice to feel needed sometimes. Find ways your single friends can invest in your family. Let us pick the kids up at school or tutor a child in math.
Dovetail. Pursuit can be as simple as, “Come grocery shopping with me.” Take a walk together. Carpool to church.
God never intended his people to carry life’s purpose—or its burdens—in isolation. We can all embrace this life with confidence, faithfulness, and joy. Singles and married people alike can live as a family who shows his love. We need each other, and the world needs our Jesus!
May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.
~ Romans 15:5-7
Single Together
Single Together encourages single men and women to thrive in God’s call for their lives and equips churches to better embrace and support singles in their congregations. Lisa LaGeorge invites readers to discover the richness and purpose of singleness within the family of God. Drawing on biblical wisdom, personal experience, and decades of ministry experience, LaGeorge reframes singleness—not as a problem to be solved, but as a rich opportunity to honor the Lord and show the world his kindness.
