Gladine and I celebrated fifty years of marriage this year. What an amazing milestone and only reached by God’s grace! What would I say to our younger selves on our wedding day? If I knew what I know now? Here are some thoughts.
Larry and Gladine, what an exciting day this is—your wedding day. After four years as high school and college sweethearts, you are finally beginning life together as husband and wife.
Let me assure you that your marriage will be filled with deep joy—joy that will remind you of God’s generous, undeserved kindness. But I also need to tell you that your marriage will include real challenges. Some will be small and ordinary—misunderstandings, disappointments, fatigue, monotony. Others will be deeper, requiring an extra measure of patience, humility, forgiveness, and endurance.
It is difficult to imagine today, but one day you will not be a nineteen-year-old bride and a twenty-one-year-old groom with youthful energy and optimism. You will be a seasoned couple, having not only celebrated your 10th or 25th anniversaries, but your 50th. Your golden anniversary. A milestone once celebrated by your grandparents. By God’s grace, you will grow old together—and that is a gift beyond words.
What will keep your marriage on track? So that your marriage not only survives, but thrives for the next five decades?
Three convictions stand out.
1. Embrace the Gospel Purpose for Your Marriage
Why are you getting married today?
Yes, there is love. Yes, there is happiness. And yes, that happiness is a good gift from God. But neither of you was designed to carry the weight of making the other person happy all the time. That expectation will eventually collapse under reality.
You are marrying a sinner—a sinner saved by grace, yes—but still a sinner. And guess what? Your spouse is marrying a sinner, too! That means each of you is flawed, unable to deliver ultimate happiness to your spouse or receive ultimate happiness from your spouse.
There’s got to be a higher purpose for getting married. What could be a better reason to get married—and stay married than your personal happiness? The Apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:32: “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”
This means that the true meaning of marriage is not something we invent—it is something we receive. God pulls back the curtain and shows us that marriage is a living parable. It is a divinely designed drama that illustrates the gospel. The husband represents Christ in his sacrificial love, and the wife represents the church in her responsive trust and respect.
This imagery is profound. It teaches us that the purpose of marriage is about more than our personal fulfillment, emotional satisfaction, or even companionship—though it includes all of these blessings. At its deepest level, marriage exists to display the gospel. It is a living, breathing picture of Christ’s covenant love: sacrificial, faithful, forgiving, and enduring.
That truth changes everything:
- Marriage is not defined by culture, but by God’s design.
- Marriage roles are not arbitrary, but purposeful.
- Marriage struggles are not merely relational, but spiritual.
When this focus is lost, a marriage relationship shrinks into self-centered expectations. When it is recovered, marriage becomes a sacred calling.
So remember:
- Larry, when you sacrifice for Gladine, you are reflecting Christ’s self-giving love.
- Gladine, when you trust and support Larry, you are reflecting the church’s response to Christ.
- When you forgive one another, you display the very heart of the gospel.
Your marriage is not just about the two of you. It is about reflecting Christ.
2. Practice the Gospel Pattern in Your Marriage
The gospel declares that God loves you not because you are worthy, but because Christ stands in your place—through his perfect life, sacrificial death, and victorious resurrection.
That gospel truth becomes the pattern for your daily life together.
Because of the gospel:
- You love because he first loved you (1 John 4:19).
- You accept one another as Christ has accepted you (Romans 15:7).
- You forgive as you have been forgiven (Ephesians 4:32). Forgiven people forgive people.
- You practice patience, humility, and gentleness, just as Christ has shown perfect patience toward you (Ephesians 4:2; 1 Timothy 1:16).
- You live free from condemnation: “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). There is no need to be defensive every time you detect imagined or even real criticism from your spouse. You can live with one another in the safety of the gospel.
3. Lean into Gospel Power for Your Marriage
Marriage unites two sinners saved by grace. Selfishness, pride, fear, and insecurity will not disappear after the wedding vows. They will surface in new ways.
So where does the strength—the power—to resist temptation and to live for Christ come from?
Not from your spouse. Not from your emotions. Not from your circumstances. The power for a Christ-reflecting marriage must come from outside of you.
For you, Gladine, as a wife
At times, submitting to Larry’s leadership will feel difficult—especially when his leadership is imperfect. Questions will arise: What if he makes mistakes? What if he fails to lead well?
The gospel answers those fears.
Your ultimate allegiance is to Christ. Your submission is “as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). Because of the gospel, your identity and security are not anchored in your husband’s performance but in Christ’s finished work. You are deeply loved, fully forgiven, and securely held by him.
That truth frees you to follow imperfect leadership without losing your sense of safety or worth.
For you, Larry, as a husband
The call to love Gladine as Christ loves the church is equally weighty. It requires sacrificial, steady, initiating love—even when it is not reciprocated or appreciated.
Where will that strength—that power—come from?
Not from your wife’s love for you, but from Christ Himself.
“We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).
When a husband looks to his wife to fill his emotional and spiritual “love tank,” he will inevitably become demanding, withdrawn, or frustrated. But when he is filled with Christ’s love, he is freed to give instead of grasp.
The gospel turns marriage from a reactionary performance system into a grace-fueled relationship.
Our Final Word to Our Younger Selves:
Larry and Gladine, as you begin your journey together today, remember this: It is the gospel that will shape, sweeten, and sustain your marriage over the next fifty years.
It gives you:
- A purpose greater than personal happiness
- A pattern rooted in grace rather than performance
- A power stronger than human weakness
So as you speak your vows today—“to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part”—know that you are not just making a promise about love. You are stepping into a lifelong dependence on God’s grace.
It will be a long journey. A hard journey at times. A joyful journey beyond what you can now imagine. And by God’s sustaining grace, fifty years from now, you will still be walking it together—hand in hand. We know. Because we are here.
A Seasoned Marriage
Life is different than it was on your wedding day years ago. You are different, your spouse is different, and so is your marriage. In the middle and later decades of life, we all face situations we didn’t think about as young married couples such as maintaining relationships with adult children, planning for retirement, navigating health struggles, preventing marital monotony, and investing time into the lives of our grandchildren. Larry McCall helps couples in the second half of life navigate the unique challenges that arise with growing older together.
