Being a dad can be an incredibly intimidating job. My sons are now grown up, but not so long ago, I was reading books to them as little boys, all nestled up next to me before bedtime. I sometimes find myself wishing I could go back and do it all over again. You may be wondering why I would want to relive such an exhausting phase of parenting! Because I want to put a little extra fuel of inspiration in your tank to be a dad who is relationally engaged with his children.
In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus takes the opportunity to describe what God is like by telling a story about, of all things, a father and two sons: the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11–32). What is Jesus trying to tell us about God as a father? And what can we as fathers learn from the father in the parable?
The father has two sons. The younger son is immoral and rebellious; the older son, good and self-righteous. Although in some ways the two young men seem incredibly different, I think deep down they are both asking the same question: Daddy, how much do you love me?
We can imagine the younger son, far from home, worrying: What will my father say when I return from my rebellion? He will have every right to reject me and turn me away. At best I’ll be fortunate to be a hired hand. Dad, do you even still love me?
And we can only surmise that when the father throws a lavish welcome home party for his younger son, the older, self-righteous son could have been stewing: Dad, how could you! I’ve been here day in and day out, living an obedient life, while my younger brother abandoned us in his rebellion. You never once threw me a celebration like this. I’m so jealous, angry, and bitter! It feels like you love him more than me. Dad, do you even love me?
I know you have a huge heart for your children and will always want them to know just how much you love them as you point them to God. Yet, life can be difficult and parenting is not always going to be easy. In Jesus’s story I see three things we can learn from the father: he is present; he is patient; and he pursues his sons.
As a dad, you can imagine how painful it would be to realize that your children want the things you can provide for them more than they want a relationship with you. It happens to the father in the parable, and it can happen to us. But notice how the father is consistently present. He’s there. He’s available. He’s accessible in person physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. Even when one son wanders off, the father remains expectant that one day his son will return. He makes his presence something to be accessed, even when it isn’t always valued by his sons.
The father is also patient. Notice he doesn’t blow his top when engaging either one of his sons in what could have been points of significant conflict. He’s clear. He’s truthful. He’s kind. He’s generous. He’s even celebratory! He doesn’t lose his temper when the younger son requests his inheritance early, nor does he respond in anger when the older son refuses to join in celebrating the younger’s return. The father is willing to play the long game by being patient in his loving affection toward his sons.
The third observation is that the father pursues his sons. When the immoral son realizes the foolishness of his ways and turns his heart toward home, the Bible says, “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him” (Luke 15:20). What sort of love is that that pursues his rebellious son with such love and compassion? But the story doesn’t stop there. When the older brother refuses to join in the celebration we read, “So his father went out and pleaded with him” (Luke 15:28). Again, Jesus is not painting a picture of a father who is filled with stubborn pride in his status as father. This father is different; he is humble and pursues his sons with love.
Now I ask you (just as I ask myself), how much do you love your child? As a dad, I know the answer: more than you could possibly ever express. But that won’t stop you or me from expressing our love with all we’ve got! We can’t do this on our own, but with the presence of the Holy Spirit, the power of God’s Word, and the encouragement of other dads, we can learn to express our love for our children by being fully present, increasingly patient, and by pursuing them with loving affection.
So, the next time your child asks, with a look or with words, “Dad, do you love me? Am I lovable?” I have the feeling you’re going to know just what to do.
Good job, Dad. Keep going.
Excerpted from Daddy, How Much Do You Love Me? © 2026 by Matt Markins. Used with permission of New Growth Press. May not be reproduced without prior written permission.
Daddy, How Much Do You Love Me?
Daddy, How Much Do You Love Me? tells the tender story of a father and his son and points children to the even greater love of their heavenly Father. Written by Matt Markins, president of Awana, this illustrated picture book celebrates the joy of fatherhood and inspires dads to create intentional, joy-filled moments with their kids.
