Have you asked your child to do a chore, but the process ended up being more work for you than for your child? Maybe you had to address a grumbling attitude or an unexpected mess. Maybe they were moving so slowly that you had to monitor their work to be sure they followed through. The next time, you may have decided to just do the job yourself—it would be faster and easier than trying to get an unwilling child to do it.
Is it really worth the effort to get our kids to help around the house and in the larger community? Or should we just let chores chart gather dust and hope our kids will learn to help out more when they’re older? Does their attitude matter, or should we just be satisfied if they’re helping?
There are lots of reasons why encouraging kids to serve joyfully is a great idea. We want them to learn to be good neighbors and productive members of society. They need to acquire skills that will help them live healthy lives. Developing a strong work ethic now will equip them for the future to provide for themselves, their families, and others in need. Kids should help out because adults are busy and tired and need help getting the basic tasks of life done. Kids also feel empowered when they know they are contributing members of the family. Serving people out in the community can even help kids grow in gratitude for blessings they previously took for granted.
Those are all good reasons for kids to serve. But is there something we’re missing? Is there more at stake than whether or not your child knows how to clean a toilet or use a hammer?
Serving Others out of Love for Jesus
What if serving together could be a gateway to knowing Jesus more? Isn’t he the Savior who came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45)? What if life in Jesus’s kingdom is upside down from life in the world and the greatest are actually the servants? What if, in order to be first, you had to put yourself last (Mark 10:42–44)?
Think about how dirty Jesus got when he was washing the disciples’ feet. How he got so tired from all of his serving that he could sleep on a boat during a raging storm. How he prayed so hard in the garden that he sweated blood. Think about Jesus dying on the cross, doing the agonizing work that secured salvation for everyone who would turn from their sins and trust in him.
The most important work has already been done by Jesus. The work we do will not save us, but it will help us get to know Jesus better as we become more like him. If you are trusting in Christ, love for your neighbor is an overflow of your love for God. We serve Jesus by serving the people around us (Matthew 25:35–40).
That’s all well and good, but what about that dirty toilet? Yes, you do need to deal with the toilet. Teach your kids how to clean it and help them understand how serving their family in this way reflects the heart of Jesus. He humbled himself and took the form of a servant (Philippians 2:5–8). This greatest servant of all is also King. As you serve together, remind them (and yourself!) that our Servant King is so good and so strong that he changes hearts. He makes people who would rather be served into people who love to serve. He makes people who only cared about putting themselves first into people who delight to put others’ needs ahead of their own. Who knew cleaning a toilet could be so profound?
Teaching by Example
This is wearying but good work, so don’t underestimate the power of your example, both positive and negative. I once heard a young boy jump up to help at dinnertime, exclaiming, “I’m a man, so I will set the table.” Who do you suppose he had seen setting the table every night in his house? His father. I love how in that boy’s mind, being a man and humbly serving the family were linked. Ask your kids how they see you serve. Do they see you going to the Lord for strength when you are tired? Do they see you serving others who have nothing to offer you in return? Do they hear you praising acts of humble service that might otherwise go unnoticed? If you’re stuck behind a garbage truck, how about expressing gratitude for the people who collect our trash every week, who are willing to get dirty so our homes can be clean?
When you grumble and want to be served first, do you ever confess that out loud so your kids can hear? Do they hear you asking for forgiveness when you complain, rather than serving joyfully? Your kids already know you are not perfect, so explain to them how your limitations help you rely on the Lord more. Your example can show them what it looks like for a sinner to trust and serve Jesus.
So let’s roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty. Let’s encourage, appeal to, and yes, even require, our kids to serve alongside us. And through it all, remember to “work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ” (Colossians 3:23–24).
Coop Helps Out
When Demas, the son of a world-famous race car, makes fun of how Pops’ job as the town garbage truck makes him dirty and smelly, Coop starts to wish his father had a more popular, cleaner, cooler job. But when Pops gets sick, Coop learns how important being a garbage truck really is and steps in to help clean up the town. Coop discovers that his father’s humble, selfless service points to Jesus, the best servant of all, who came to clean up the mess in our hearts.