Living with Mess at Christmas (and the Rest of the Year Too)

Our dog Tully is a walking disaster. One time, Tully’s leg was bothering him, so the vet took an X-ray. When the doctor looked at the X-ray, he said, “Do you know Tully has rocks in his stomach?” We said, “Yes, we do. He eats rocks.” He also eats hard-shelled walnuts from our tree. He eats anything left on the edge of the counter. He eats things that the coyotes leave behind on our driveway. We even hired a trainer to work with him, and after several months the very kind trainer gave up, saying, “I’ve never met a dog like Tully.” We even coined a word to describe what happens when Tully has destroyed something. We say, “It’s been Tullified!” He’s a chaos creator, a walking disaster.

So we weren’t completely surprised, a few years back, when Tully took down our Christmas tree. Jill and I warned him repeatedly to sit down, and he tried to obey. But in true Tully fashion, he got his leash tangled around the tree and ended up dragging it around the house. (You can read this very funny story in a book called Tully’s Christmas Mess.) Once we got over the shock of the toppled tree and the shattered ornaments, we did think about how Tully was making our Christmas like the very first one. Chaos and confusion are what Joseph and Mary must have also experienced that Christmas morning when Jesus was born. Luke describes Jesus’s birth in just two sentences:

And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

Luke 2:6–7

As you begin reading Luke chapter 2, everything seems okay. While they were there tells us that Joseph and Mary had planned this out. They hadn’t arrived in a rush to Bethlehem. After they settled in, the time came for her to give birth, and then—joy!—she gave birth to her firstborn child. Next, Mary did what every mother does: wrapped her baby up in swaddling cloths (a blanket) to help him feel safe and warm. Like our Christmas tree, everything was perfect.

Then comes the crash: Mary laid him in a manger. With that single word, manger, Luke signals that something went terribly wrong. Animals eat out of mangers, which means that Jesus was born in a filthy stable, filled with the stench of manure. Barns are stinky and dirty because sheep are not potty trained. One year we took our grandkids out to our donkey and goat shed for Christmas and had them sit on bales of hay while we read Luke’s Christmas account. They were not used to the stench or to stepping in donkey poo!

Luke then explains the reason for this little disaster: because there was no place for them in the inn. Evidently, Joseph and Mary had tried but failed to get better lodging, forcing them into the only available room, a sheepfold. Mary, who likely told this story to Luke, doesn’t tell us anything more than this. But it’s odd that in a completely Jewish world that absolutely prized babies, there was no place for them. Someone was mean, almost cruel to them in this desperate moment. Everything Joseph and Mary planned on went wrong. Their Tully-tree came crashing down.

What can we as parents learn and then teach our children about life through this story of the first Christmas? Here are some thoughts:

1. When everything goes wrong and no one seems to understand you, when you feel like your Christmas tree has come crashing down on top of you, remember that Jesus understands. He started his life in a mess. He understands when you are frustrated. He’s been there (Hebrews 4:14–16). Jesus, the Savior of the world, was born in a stable full of stinky manure.
2. When you find that you are cranky and irritable with everyone in your family, ask Jesus to come into your heart to help you to love and be patient. Jesus was born in a pile of manure, so when your heart becomes stinky like manure he can come in and help you. The smell doesn’t bother him (1 Corinthians 6:11).
3. When you’ve made a mess like Tully did, turn to Jesus. Keep it simple; just say, “Jesus, I’ve made a mess of things. Would you help me?” Or maybe you didn’t make a mess of things but someone else did, then pray, “Jesus help me to love so-and-so. I’m so mad I can’t even think” (1 John 1:7–9).
4. When everything isn’t perfect and not the way you want it, remember that Jesus doesn’t care so much about how things look; he cares about your heart. He wants your heart to be clean. Because he died for you, then your heart can get all cleaned up, even if your Christmas tree has crashed (Ephesians 3:14–19).
5. When things are a mess and you can’t figure it out, just rest in Jesus. Tell him how you feel. He loves open and honest talk. Mary, Jesus’s mother, couldn’t figure out lots of things, so Luke tells us she hid them in her heart. In time, Mary discovered that her son was God himself, born as a man. What an amazing thing to discover. But she had to wait about thirty-three years to get that answer (Luke 2:19).

This Christmas, turn to Jesus who came into our messy world, took up our burdens, carried our sorrows, and died so we might live. Now he ever lives to intercede for all who, right in the middle of their messy lives, ask him for help. Share that good and true story with your family this Christmas and every day throughout your year.

---