Anyone who has regular interaction with teenagers can tell you that there has been an increase in the number of students struggling with mental health issues in recent years. An uptick in bullying, violence in schools, and social media pressures have only added to the stress, anxiety, and depression they feel. How can parents, churches, and youth leaders help?
Married coauthors Monica Kim, a licensed psychologist and biblical counselor and Danny Kwon, a veteran youth pastor, have extensive experience in working with struggling youth both professionally and as parents. In their book, Teenagers and Mental Health: A Handbook for Parents, Pastors, and Youth Leaders, the duo imparts gospel hope and guidance for ministering to teens with mental health struggles and their families.
Q: The two of you come together to write Teenagers and Mental Health from three distinct perspectives. Can you tell us more about your backgrounds and experiences that led you to writing this book?
Danny: For 29 years, I served as a Youth and Family Pastor in one church with a large youth group. During those years, Monica partnered closely with me, serving the youth in many roles, including as a small group leader. Before ministry alongside me, Monica—who also graduated from seminary—was a youth pastor herself. In God’s sovereignty, as mental health struggles among teenagers began to rise over the years, I had Monica by my side—now a biblical counselor and licensed psychologist—to consult with, seek wisdom from, and collaborate on how best to support teenagers and their families both within the church and beyond its walls. Together, we met with teens and parents in the church who needed greater mental health support, and even youth leaders from other churches began to seek our guidance. These shared experiences over nearly three decades became a major impetus for this book.
However, this book is written not only from our professional perspectives as a youth and family pastor, biblical counselor, and psychologist, but also as parents. While we have long witnessed the struggles, needs, and suffering of teenagers and their families facing these hardships, one of our own teenagers experienced intense mental health challenges after being bullied. This made the struggles of teens and families even more vivid and personal for us, and it deepened our understanding of how the church and parents can be instruments God uses in the journey of those facing mental health struggles.
Q: What are the most common struggles teenagers face when it comes to their mental health?
Monica: One of the most common struggles teenagers face when it comes to their mental health is anxiety and feelings of persistent sadness or hopelessness. According to one of the largest study done on teenagers (13-18 years old) by the National Comorbidity Survey Replication—Adolescent Supplement (NCS-A; Merinkangas et al., 2010) found that anxiety disorders were the most common condition (31.9%), followed by behavior disorders (19.1%), mood disorders (such as depression, 14.3%), and substance use disorders (11.4%). Additionally, according to the CDC (2023), approximately 40% of high school students indicated struggling with feelings of sadness and hopelessness.
From a church and ministry perspective, one of the most common struggles teenagers face when they begin to recognize their own mental health struggles is the question, “What is wrong with me?” This often shows up in feelings and thoughts of being “defective,” unworthy, or even sinful. Many also wrestle with “Why is this happening to me?”—deep, existential questions about identity, suffering, and purpose.
Danny: The church and youth ministry—including parents, pastors, leaders, and volunteers—can play a vital role here. While we are not mental health professionals, we are called to be spiritual guides who offer teenagers the hope of the gospel. Ultimately, our desire is to help them see that their identity is not defined by their mental health struggle. Their struggle does not define them. Rather, their identity and hope are in Christ, and the truth of the gospel speaks to who they are as the beloved people of God.
Q: Why are conditions such as anxiety, stress, and depression more common for teens today than they were in earlier generations? What unique challenges do teens face today that are contributing factors?
Danny: During my seminary days, the professor of my class on adolescent counseling was asked whether it is harder to be a teenager today than it was 30 years ago. He answered this question by suggesting that because of the fall of Adam, sin, and its enduring effects, the challenges of adolescence have remained the same throughout time. While we understand this point, when we consider the context and circumstances in which today’s teenagers live, it becomes clear that their experiences are distinct and complex in many ways, often contributing to greater anxiety, stress, and depression.
Monica: In our book, we discuss how modern teens are growing up in a culture marked by heightened stress, exposure to violence in distinct ways (such as school shootings and threats of school shootings), and confusion surrounding issues of sexuality and gender. On top of that, the pervasive and easily accessible influence of social media has multiplied experiences of bullying and intensified feelings of isolation, loneliness, comparison, and diminished self-worth. All these factors together create a perfect storm that makes it harder than ever for teenagers to go through life without experiencing significant anxiety, stress, or depression.
Q: What are some of the warning signs that a teenager is struggling with their mental health that parents should watch out for? How does a parent know when it’s time to reach out for additional help?
Monica: One way to tell if your teenager might be struggling with their mental health is to watch for noticeable changes in their behavior or habits over time. This could look like shifts in sleep or eating patterns. In addition, there could be a noticeable drop in school grades or loss of motivation or engagement in schoolwork. Other behavioral changes you might notice are your teenager losing interest in activities they once loved, a big change in the group of friends they hang out with, or withdrawing from friends, and suddenly wanting to stop going to church or youth group after being active.
Other warning signs that teenagers may be struggling with their mental health are becoming easily frustrated, irritable, annoyed, or angry. It’s not just one of these signs on its own that matters—it’s when several of them appear together that you should pay closer attention. In these situations, it can also help to observe their social media activity or quietly check in with friends, youth leaders, or other trusted adults who know your teen well.
As far as seeking outside or additional help, it would be prudent first and foremost for the parent to first try to communicate with their teenager and open lines of communication. This shouldn’t be just a one-time conversation. Try to develop some sort of regular rhythm (daily or weekly communication or check-ins) that creates space for honest dialogue. If a parent is concerned, it can be helpful to involve another significant adult, such as a youth leader, church volunteer, or pastor, who can hang out and talk with your teenager in ways that a parent might not be able to. Additionally, parents may find guidance and support by consulting a pediatrician, school counselor, or other professional who can help assess the situation and provide next steps for care.
Q: How can Teenagers and Mental Health practically help a parent or youth worker come to the aid of a teen with a mental health struggle?
Danny: We like to describe our book with two key phrases: practical guidance and gospel hope. Our goal is to help anyone who cares for teenagers understand mental health from both an experiential and faith perspective—seeing not only the depth of these struggles but also how the gospel offers truth and hope that equip us to care for teenagers and their families. We pray that both those serving in the church (pastors, youth leaders, and volunteers) and parents walking with their own teenagers, will find in these pages a deeper understanding of the gospel and its power to bring truth, comfort, and hope amid mental health challenges.
Monica: Alongside this gospel-centered foundation, we also seek to offer practical guidance. Drawing from years of experience as practitioners in both church ministry and professional mental health settings, we provide insights and suggestions for how churches and families can partner together, understand today’s teen culture, recognize when a teenager may be struggling with mental health concerns, and discern how the church can walk alongside them and their families. We also explore when a situation may extend beyond the church’s scope and require professional support. In the second half of the book, we address specific mental health struggles and offer ways that churches and parents can respond with care, wisdom, and gospel-centered compassion.
Q: What role does the church play in addressing teens and mental health? How can churches and youth ministries better support both teens and their families?
Danny: First of all, we believe it is important to remember the valuable role that the church and youth ministries can play in supporting teens and their families. At the same time, it’s equally important to recognize that most of us in ministry are not mental health care professionals working in our churches. There are experts who are trained to do such things as diagnosing and providing treatment. However, the church and youth ministry still have a vital part to play. We can offer spiritual care and gospel hope to teenagers and their families. We can walk alongside them in their journey through mental health struggles. And we can equip families with practices and exercises that can help them find strength and encouragement along the way.
Overall, we describe how the church and youth ministry can become places of refuge, lighthouses, and first responders for teenagers and their families. These images point to the church’s unique role as a source of solace and hope, helping teens and parents know they are not alone in their journey. Together, churches, families, and teenagers can walk alongside one another toward healing, well-being, and shalom.
Q: What are some practical steps churches can take to reduce the stigma that exists around mental health?
Danny: Our church has sought to address the issue openly and compassionately. Churches can intentionally create an environment where conversations about mental health are welcomed both from the pulpit and in the youth ministry, and where parents and teenagers alike know they can talk to others without fear or shame. We remind our church that we live in a broken and fractured world, and because of that, mental health struggles are part of our human experience. In that honesty, we also affirm that the church and youth ministry are safe places to seek help, support, and prayer.
Monica: We also strive to equip and resource teenagers and their families to better understand and respond to mental health struggles. We do this through small groups, seminars, and workshops on topics such as anxiety, stress, and the impact of social media on emotional well-being. Whenever possible, we extend these opportunities to families and parents, helping them engage in conversation alongside their teens. Finally, we invite parents to meet with our church and youth ministry leaders to explore ways we can walk with them—whether that means helping connect them to professional care, providing faith-based resources, or offering ongoing spiritual guidance and care, as they journey through mental health challenges together with the church.
Q: When and how do you determine that a mental health issue is beyond the church’s scope?
Danny: Chapter 6 is devoted to this very important topic. I am not a trained mental health professional, and over time, I have had to recognize the distinct roles I canplay in supporting a teenager with mental health struggles versus the role of a trained professional. My starting point has often been an instinctive “I know it when I see it” approach. Many times, my instincts and my awareness of my lack of formal training help me discern what I can do to support a student and what is better suited for a mental health professional.
As a church and youth leader, I also consider other important factors. Are there issues that should be referred to someone with training? Doing so not only ensures the student receives appropriate care, but it also safeguards me from overstepping my expertise or potential liability. Additionally, I weigh whether attempting to help a student might put me at risk of overextending myself or experiencing burnout, risks that a trained professional is better equipped to manage.
We have also come to realize that some psychological issues are beyond our understanding. If a teenager’s situation is getting worse, if there is significant trauma in their life, or they are struggling with suicidal thoughts, we recognize the need to refer them and their family to a professional. These considerations remind us that, as church leaders, many situations are beyond our scope, and the best care sometimes requires partnering with trained mental health professionals.
Q: How can families create a healthy balance with technology and social media use?
Monica: This is a tricky and complex issue to navigate, given the wide range of views on social media and the many suggested practices for families and society. For example, some schools have seen positive results from banning cell phone use during school hours. Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, even advocates for banning social media for anyone under the age of 16. While these practices may have merit, they may not be possible or desirable for every family.
One approach we recommend is for families to have an open dialogue about social media and its role in their lives. From there, try to develop a family social media plan that everyone (parents and children) strives to follow. In many cases, this may be more challenging for adults than for teens. The plan might address issues such as device use during mealtimes and at night or which apps are allowed. Whatever rules a family decides on can be based on mutual respect and a willingness to revisit and adjust the plan as needed. Most importantly, these decisions should be determined collaboratively with input from both teenagers, not just the parents, so that everyone has a sense of ownership and accountability.
Q: What encouragement would you like to pass along to parents who are overwhelmed in trying to help their teenagers?
Monica: Our encouragement to parents is twofold. First, acknowledge that it is hard. If you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or even questioning God, you are not alone. We live in a broken and fractured world, and mental health struggles are a real part of that reality. Second, press into, cling to, and root yourself in the hope and truth of the gospel. Embracing the promises of God, such as Romans 8:28,“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose,” can be a powerful source of grace, hope, and truth in difficult times for parents. Finally, reach out for help. Don’t go it alone. Seeking support in the body of Christ is an important step in navigating these challenges together, whether it is a fellow parent, pastor, youth leader, or volunteer.
Q: What advice would you give to churches that feel unequipped to address mental health issues?
Danny: I have often felt unequipped to address mental health issues with teenagers and their families. Sometimes, when I see teenagers struggling, I recognize that it is beyond my level of expertise or training. Yet, I believe this is an important realization. First, it reminds us that these struggles are ultimately in the Lord’s hands, and we can place our trust in Him. Second, it points to the value of professionals who are specifically trained and equipped to help in ways I cannot.
At the same time, it is encouraging to remember that, as a church, we are representatives of the Good Shepherd. We walk alongside teenagers and their families, guiding them in their spiritual journey and helping them grow to trust in the gospel truth and their love for Jesus. While we may not be able to address all their mental health struggles directly, we can help families and teens deepen their relationship with Christ, grow in trust of His promises, and experience hope and comfort along the way.
For further reading:
Teenagers and mental Health
Teenagers and Mental Health is a comprehensive guide to better understanding the challenges adolescents face and outlines strategies for compassionate, gospel-centered care. Married coauthors Monica Kim, a licensed psychologist and biblical counselor and Danny Kwon, a veteran youth pastor, have extensive experience in working with struggling youth both professionally and as parents. They equip youth leaders, pastors, parents, and other caregivers to notice when a teen is having trouble and reach out to offer help.
